Why I Don't Post Family Pictures on my Blog

Blogs, especially mom and family blogs, chronicle alot of personal stuff. They post on the day to day activities of their families, precious moments of their children captured on film and even post excitedly about upcoming, much anticipated events. I want to share these things as well. I love looking at beautiful pictures of other people's families and family outings, even glimpses of their homes, but as a military family, we must practice what is known as opsec. Other military wives are nodding knowingly right now. The rest of you are likely scratching your heads.

Opsec, or operational security, means that we practice safety regarding our deployed military spouses and our families left behind. We don't splash photos of our soldier spouse all over our blogs so that their faces are clearly recognizable by strangers who might mean them harm or target them to further their own agenda. We don't talk about specific dates or details of expected departures, arrivals, or leave. We don't talk or post about the specifics of their mission or whereabouts and this includes other social media outlets such as facebook and twitter.

We, as families, are briefed on this practice in pre-deployment meetings and it is reinforced in family meetings and newsletters. We are constantly reminded that, like it or not, sometimes families are targeted back home by terrorists or even scammers who prey on the worries of the spouses at home for their soldiers abroad. A recent scam concerns people calling spouses of deployed military, telling them their soldier has been injured or taken hostage and requesting money from the frantic spouse. Yes, people do this. We are schooled from the beginning on how we will be notified if any such incident occurs, so hopefully most of us don't fall for this.

Maybe it puts my blog at a bit of a disadvantage, not to be able to share my family so openly. I know it certainly has been difficult. I have found some ways around it. If you see pictures of my family, they will be walking away from the camera or standing enough in the distance to be obscured or their faces will be naturally obscured in other ways (eg. hair blowing across their faces or sunglasses). I have occasionaly had to post headless pictures of my daughter when she served as a helper for me in a DIY post. I have only broken this rule once regarding my daughter, in one single post and I worried about it. But it would've been difficult to convey my daughter's emotions in that post otherwise. I told myself it would be promptly removed had it been followed by anything weird or suspicious.

As families of deployed spouses, we must all do our part in the security of the mission and the safety of our soldiers. Maybe some day in the future I will be able to share more openly, but for now, being discreet is a small price to pay.

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/saritainchina/1161176969/

I Was A Pushy Mama (at the Worldwide Day of Play)

On Saturday, my daughter and I had a busy day planned. She wanted to visit a consignment sale for a toy she had seen when I had dropped off some items there, we needed to shop for a birthday party, go to the party, then attend a free local concert that night. But there was one more thing. It wasn't planned. I kept telling her we couldn't do it, couldn't fit it in, were too busy for it and still, she was so obsessed with it. She wanted to go to Nickelodeon's Worldwide Day of Play in Washington DC, about an hour's drive and then a 1/2 hour train ride, 'cause I was definitely not going to drive into DC. I can never figure out DC and I haven't been in years. I remember roads going in circles and traffic lights off to the side of the road where nobody but people from DC think to look for them. And there was no parking provided by the event. My other option, the Metro train. This suburbanite may as well be a country bumpkin trying to figure out the train map, the red line/blue line/green line, the fare machines and where to go once I get off the train. Oh, not only could we not fit it in but secretly, this whole adventure felt too big for me. But as I got ready that morning, my daughter was being mesmerized by appearances on the TV of the iCarly gang, Victorious and Big Time Rush summoning her to this event. She kept running back to my room excitedly relaying to me what the guys from BTR were saying and what was going on there. I got to thinking, when is this event ever going to be this close to us again? It is not unusual for me to just do something unplanned, on the spur of the moment, and if ever there was a reason to do that, this was it.

But how could we fit this in? The travel alone was three hours up and back. When my daughter told me that it was mostly Big Time Rush she really wanted to see and didn't care about anything else, I figured we might be able to duck out of there right after the concert. Yet another problem- there was no schedule given for the concert. Nobody knew when they would perform. It occurred to me that we could go through all this trouble and totally miss it by the time we got down there. I must be crazy! But off we went, taking our chances.

We couldn't have timed it better than if we had announced "Okay boys, you can take the stage now. We have arrived." Just as we came around the corner on 17th street, we heard an announcement and an excited crowd. The boys from BTR were taking the stage in 15 minutes. Now I knew what we had done was the right thing. Nothing else mattered. My daughter was thrilled.

The entire place was set up with metal fences everywhere. It was hard enough to figure out how to get in let alone figure out how to make your way to a place you could clearly see from afar. It was like a maze with a thousand rats blocking your vision to how to get through it. We ended up making our way to the edge of a playing field to another metal fence where kids and their parents were lining up to see the band. This seemed to be as far as we could go.

We were just behind a few kids at the rail with their parents behind them. I could see the stage through a gap in the adults, but my 6 year old daughter could see nothing. There was no way we went through all this today and my daughter was not going to see anything. Oh, how I missed my husband at that moment! Once again, it's the little things that remind you that deployment kind of sucks. I know it would have been easy for him to put her on his shoulders. I knew I could not do it. I had to do something, so I tapped the woman in front of me on the shoulder and asked if my daughter could squeeze in between her kids at the rail. She turned away from me without answering. Oh boy! Now I know what I would've said if someone had asked me that. This woman was unbelievable! So I pushed my daughter forward up to the kids who were not exactly cooperating. Also my daughter is a bit shy. The woman said nothing to her kids. Finally I placed my daughter between a couple of the kids and told the woman, " Look, I just want to make sure she can she what's going on. We've come a long way for this today. I don't care about myself." Snooty mama, while she was not helpful, at least said nothing. Thankfully my daughter was able to get a spot at the rail while I stood a few people behind and took pictures. Yes, I was a pushy mama that day. I never knew I had it in me.

Big Time Rush put on a great mini concert. It may have been only about 8 songs, I didn't count, but it was worth the trip to hear my daughter saying over and over for the rest of the day, " I can't believe I saw Big Time Rush live." And we still picked up a gift and got to the birthday party and we still went to the other local free concert that night. Can you say overstimulation?


Pros and cons of this event: It was a fun event with many games and play areas set up and great free entertainment. The downside was the giant fence maze, the hydration stations were few and far between and empty by the time our parched throats found one. We never found any concession stands. They must have been squeezed into one small corner of the grounds and we ended up exiting before ever stumbling upon one. Great idea! Invite thousands of kids to come and be active without adequate food and water. Concession and drink stands should have been scattered throughout. We had to leave to get a drink. Good thing it wasn't terribly hot that day. While it could've been organized better, we got what we came for and left hungry and thirsty but happy.

Winterizing Water Gardens

 

Last year, on my birthday, I visited Lilypons Water Gardens which has acres and acres of ponds with many varieties of water lilies, beautiful lotus and other water plants as well as fish and decorative containers. I treated myself to a white blooming water lily which has a blush on it when first opening. Since I already had a half whiskey barrel pond with plants, I bought one of those shallow containers that are so popular now in which to display my lily. I had expressed doubt that I could winter this hardy lily over in this shallow pot, but the lady in the store assured me that the container would work. Come spring, my lily was dead. Not even a small sign of life remained in the plant. R.I.P Nymphaea Colorado.

Had I trusted my instincts and submerged that lily into a deeper bucket, I'd likely still have it today. To give your water garden's plants and fish the best chances of survival through the winter. follow these steps:

• Move tropical plants to indoor pots containing water. They will not need as much warmth or light since winter is their dormant time anyway, so a basement will do fine. There are a few methods you can use for tropical water lilies. Check out http://www.onwatergarden.com/articles/tropwtrlily01.htm for details.
• Move hardy water lilies from shallow bowls to deeper water ponds or buckets. I have had great success reusing plastic cat litter buckets. My lilies have successfully overwintered in them for years.
• Most plants must have their foliage cut back. Lilies can be cut to the base. It is best if the crown of the plant does not freeze.
• Remove detritus from the bottom of your ponds. When the pond freezes over, this organic debris produces methane gas which can decrease the chances of survival for your fish. Remove your fish with some pond water to another container while you clean. Since I have a small container pond, I just reach right in and grab handfuls of the stuff out. You may want to wear gloves. It can be added to garden soil for conditioning.
• Relocate the pump to the upper 1/3 of the pond so as not to disturb the water below where the fish are overwintering or just turn it off. The pump can keep a hole in the frozen surface for the escape of gasses but we have had our pond freeze over and still the fish survive.
• Stop feeding your fish when the water temperature drops below 50 degrees Fahrenheit. They do not need the food at this temperature. If you are using a heater, you must continue to feed them.

Remember, now is not the time to divide your water lilies as the baby plants need much sun and warmth to get a good start. Let this task wait until spring. I plan on writing a post on the subject when I do this myself next spring.

A little care now can lead to a beautiful blooming water garden next year.


Sources:
http://www.hgtv.com/decorating/winterizing-water-gardens/index.html

Family Frugal: The Evil Plastic Grocery Bag

Grocery Bag Mountain of Shame

Some time back on my facebook page, I promised a Family Frugal series. It's been awhile since I've posted any ideas. Then, on Thursday, when I visited my cousin to take a look at her studio paint job and noticed her pack of paint tray liners, the light bulb came on.

I hate plastic grocery bags. The green crowd hates plastic grocery bags, but the hating is misplaced anger. Plastic grocery bags are strong, useful, convenient, reusable and fully recyclable. The fact that many people don't bother to recycle them is the real problem. This is why we see them stuck to the tree branches in our backyards, clogging our streams and enjoying longevity in land fills. How about a good, celebrity studded TV campaign to encourage people to make the effort to recycle their plastic bags, rather than demonizing them. Or maybe even an incentive program to turn your bags back in. Recycle containers are at every grocery store.

Instead we are encouraged to use reusable bags, like the kind I have sitting in my car for impromptu trips to the grocery store where I leave the car, fill up my cart, then realize that the bags are still in my car. Or, scenario two, I leave the car with two bags thinking I have only a few things to get, then realize it's not enough in the checkout line and end up being sent home with more plastic bags.

Back to why I hate plastic grocery bags- because I have a tangled, jumbled plastic grocery bag mountain in my pantry that spills out a few bags every time I open the door, that I can no longer see under without causing an avalanche.

Now that I am a stay at home mom, I look for ways to save money. Time to use up as many plastic bags as I can, then recycle what I can't. Which leads me to:

11 Ways to Reuse the Plastic Grocery Bag:

1)  Use your grocery bags to line both kitchen and bathroom trash containers. Stop buying plastic trash can liners. You may have to take the trash out daily since they fill up faster, but you will use up those bags. They will also still end up in a landfill, but the plastic trash can liners you were buying were going there anyway.

2) Use them as packing material. Don't buy bubble wrap. Plastic grocery bags are great for filling up extra space in boxes and keeping glass items from clinking against each other. Also great for packing when moving or storing items away.

3) Use them to line a paint pan. Stop buying pan liners. Slip the plastic bag completely over the pan and pour the paint right over top of the plastic lined pan. When you are done painting, you can turn the bag inside out while removing it from the pan and discard it with the paint residue inside. Makes for a very easy clean up. If you are taking a break from painting, you can slip another bag over the bag lined pan to keep your paint from drying up or getting contaminated.

4) Protect a baby dress or outfit. These bags are the perfect size for baby dress bags. When my daughter was little, I would usually take two outfits for a photo session. I would dress her in one casual outfit, then take a pretty dress on a hanger to change her into. To keep this dress from getting dirty I would cover it with a plastic grocery bag by poking a hole in the bottom middle of the bag for the hanger and pulling it down over the dress. Then it could still be hung up and be protected.

5) Pack your lunch in one for work every day. It's not stylish but you will also save money by packing a lunch instead of buying.

6) Use them to poop scoop your yard.  Turn them inside out, insert your hand and grasp the poop, then turn the bag right side out.

7) Contain a dirty diaper until you can dispose of it.

8) Use for dirty laundry while traveling.

9) Carry one in your beach bag to contain wet clothes.

10) Pack seasonal wreaths or dried flower arrangements away for storage. Items that are longer can be covered from opposite ends with two bags.

11) Donate to your local farm stand. Local farm stands collect plastic bags to bag up produce for their customers. Often they take donations.


Reduce your plastic bag supply by telling the check out clerk at the store not to bag items that already have handles like milk jugs, juice jugs and soda packs.

I'm watching my mountain get smaller as I save money. Do you have any unique uses for plastic grocery bags?

Also featured on Bloggy Moms

iArgue With My Husband

When my husband (fiance at the time) and I attended our engaged encounter marriage prep weekend 7 years ago, we attended a course on resolving disagreements. It was taught by a young couple with some years of experience and no children and I remember this young woman telling us and the other couples that when the heat of the argument gets intense and you are getting nowhere, take off your clothes. Get naked! She claimed that you can't stay angry with each other naked. I wonder if the archbishop knows such advice was being dispensed to engaged Catholic couples? Well anyway, I beg to differ with that assertion, but even if it were true, it's not the best method to use when you have kids, not unless you want to pay for their therapy later in life.

My husband is in the military and has been deployed a few times. Our main way of communicating during these deployments is through chats, facebook or skype mostly. Although the distance makes for less likelihood of a clash, we've had to hash out a few disagreements via chat. The discovery of chatfights has opened a whole new world. I've found chatfights to be effective for what they lack as much as for what they offer.


Here's What You Don't Get:

The angry face- chats offer the online equivalent of "I'm pretending you're invisible and I can't see you". Emoticons, you say? Oh please! See below.

The raising of the voice and/or sarcastic tone- chatting is like sticking your fingers in your ears and obnoxiously announcing "I can't hear you" in a sing song voice. A message in caps doesn't affect me as much as hearing you holler and if I can't hear your sarcastic tone when you reply ok and nothing more when I cheerfully announce that I'm going to get out some books and learn to frame up our attic while you are gone, so much the better for our marriage.

Rash statements- you have to actually think before you write (mostly).

Interrupting or ignoring the other party- you have to read what the other person wrote before you can respond so everyone gets their say.

What They Offer:

Emoticons- the replacements for our lack of facial expression, these beacons of emotion can lighten any mood or statement. Let's face it, even the angry emoticon where the face turns red then explodes in a boom is funny. Who can take it seriously? Also takes less energy than screaming and stamping your feet.

The Resolution- we typically resolve our disagreements when we chatfight because we think before we write and because we "hear" the other person through their written words. This can make us more responsive to the other person.


Of course it is still possible to be stubborn in your stance while chatting but I have found that chatting removes much of the drama associated with face to face arguing that tends to steer a disagreement toward escalation instead of resolution.

My bit of advice for marital bliss? Keep your clothes on, run to the nearest computer and have a chatfight.

Title inspired by episodes of iCarly, a recent staple of my diet.

Image from profy.com

A Tiny Whispering Sound

Then the LORD said, "Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by." A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD--but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake--but the LORD was not in the earthquake.

After the earthquake there was fire--but the LORD was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound.

When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave.

Kings 19:11-13

This is one of my favorite passages in the old testament and, not to be macabre, but I already know I want it read at my funeral. To me it always meant that you can look in all the wrong places for God and for miracles and eventually find out that it is in the mundane details of life that miracles are often found, in the unexpected when people are just going about their business.

I have a profound sadness that strikes as the anniversary of 9/11 approaches every year. I think it is because I am reminded, indeed can never forget, how I felt that morning- the anger, the sadness, the uncertainty of what will happen next. Many children who were not born or too young to have been aware of the events as they unfolded have a hard time understanding that when the tragic events began, we did not know when or where it would end that day, how many more terrorists were out there and how many more targets.

Working in a government building, my future husband and I were urged to finish the work that needed to be done and leave the building. The building would be closed. I remember looking at the faces of the other drivers on my drive home. No one was being rude or impatient, no horns blaring, no basses thumping from other cars. There seemed to be a stunned silence to the traffic that day.

My daughter, who is 6, wanted to know the story of 9/11 and so I told her what I could and I scoured the internet for pictures that would convey the impact of that day. In the end, she wanted to hear and see a little, but she was impatient with too many details, pictures and personal stories. Well, I figured, let her go and play. Why should she be troubled with such thoughts at her age?

In any case, that's when I came across the picture of the perfectly shaped cross that was found in the wreckage after the collapse of the World Trade center towers. If I knew of the story ten years ago, I had forgotten about it. To the rescue workers in the aftermath of such a tragedy, it appeared as a symbol of hope, healing and triumph of good over evil. Perfectly shaped and seemingly untouched beams in the midst of twisted metal and ruin- a tiny whisper after the crushing of rocks, the earthquake and the fire- hope in the aftermath of destruction.

A solemn Patriot's Day to you.


Image from http://www.september11news.com/AttackImages.htm

This post is also featured on Bloggy Moms.

A Belated Wordless Wednesday



Bucket Monster

I love my backyard frogs.

Many blogs celebrate what's known as wordless Wednesday. Different variations have evolved. Every Wednesday, bloggers hook up with a blog hosting wordless Wednesday, and post a picture with a link back to their site. I see it as a photographic challenge (I get to practice!). I am also posting this on Wordless Wednesday, But With Words on http://www.andthen-shesnapped.com/

Satisfying Veg Tacos

My good friend and I love to go to El Salto Mexican Restaurant for lunch when we get together. They have great food and their prices are unbeatable. Last time I was there I ordered a vegetarian taco. It came with refried beans. I couldn't eat it fast enough to keep it from making the taco shell soggy. Well, that was a disappointment at a place where we are usually not ever disappointed. Maybe my problem is I think I have perfected the best vegetarian taco at home. And it's a very easy and quick dinner to make. I thought I'd share it.

You will need:
1 pkg soy crumbles ( I use Morningstar Farms Recipe Starter)
1 tbsp Olive oil
1 pkg taco seasoning
taco shells
Mexican style shredded cheese
lettuce of your choice
taco sauce
small container of light sour cream
plum tomatoes diced (optional)

Start by browning the soy crumbles in a pan with the olive oil. Add the taco seasoning and water according to the seasoning package instructions. Once all the water is absorbed and seasoning mixed in, it can be removed from the heat. Assemble your tacos by placing the browned seasoned crumbles in first, taco sauce, cheese, tomatoes, lettuce and a dollop of light sour cream. Enjoy.

They are super good. My husband is the meat hound in the family and even he says they are very good and satisfying. Hope you like them too.